


Such Great Heights

by heavenly_hiddles



Category: British Actor RPF, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Loss of Parent(s), Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2511449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenly_hiddles/pseuds/heavenly_hiddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ava Jane Evans lives a perfectly normal life, thank you very much. She teaches Year 2 at a local primary school, pays her taxes and rent, does her washing, marks homework, cleans her apartment, hits her radiator when it doesn't work.<br/>One Saturday morning, with the heavy London rain pattering against the windows, she helps out in her sister's bookshop for the one day; stacking heavy books and frankly wishing she was somewhere else, doing something else. Although, if she had been somewhere else or doing something else; she wouldn't have met a man who would eventually take her heart and give his in return. A man who would read her books till they both fell asleep, kiss her till her head span, or sing her cheesy 80's songs at 2 in the morning. (There's a story to that.)<br/>This is a story about love; the type of love that only really happens once in a lifetime and the happiness that comes along with finding one's soul mate. This is Ava and Tom's story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Charing Cross Road

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first piece of fanfiction, so please be gentle with me! I'm a bit scared, to be honest. I found it really difficult to capture Tom as a character; so again- please be gentle. Enjoy!

**_3rd December, 2001_ **

**_Charing Cross Road,_ _London_ **

The London air was cold today, and the rain fell steadily from the clouds. The sun had just begun to rise, and seep through the thin bedroom curtains that belonged Ava Jane Evans. It created shadows on the walls. It was seven O' clock when her alarm went off, and the small woman stirred from her sleep.

 Ava woke up to the sound of her alarm clock. It had been given to her by her parents before she left home, just after she turned 21; which was about 8 months ago. - "Don't want you to be late for the world," her mother had told her when she had unwrapped it. Ava had smiled gratefully at the time, although hated the unnecessary noise that it made when she woke up. She listened to it for a bit longer before hitting the snooze button, not able to bear it's obnoxious bleeping any longer. 'The world can wait a bit longer,' she thought. She was in her stingy flat that smelt like like stale coffee and was lying on a cold, uncomfortable mattress that had springs digging into her back, making her realise the sad reality of her life. Ava didn't want to get up; not quite yet, so she clung on to the warmth of her duvet and scrunched her eyes up. 'This is not my life' she thought a few times before voicing this out loud. She then then opened her eyes to see if anything had changed. - It hadn't. The walls were still a dull light blue with damp marks on the ceiling, her bedroom cold, filled with far too many books for the space of the room. They littered any space that was available within the apartment- this usually sent Ava's occasional dates running. Groaning, she decided to get ready for the day. She went to the kitchen to boil the kettle for some tea. Ava always had to get mentally prepared for a shower- there was never any hot water in the morning. Ava's family had never been very wealthy, so Ava's student loan was spent only on this dingy apartment, along with her food. Ava had a sister; who was 5 years older than herself that occasionally visited, when she wasn't too busy. Her sister, who, today, was busy at her daughter's first day at nursery, had asked Ava if she could look after the old bookshop that used to belong to their Dad before he retired. Ava, slightly annoyed that her Saturday's plans had gone out the window, agreed. If she hurried, she could walk instead of getting the bus. She liked walking. 

The walk to the bookshop was chilly and the rain ruthlessly poured down. Ava wished she had just gotten the bus, instead of trying to enjoy the morning 'air'. By the time she was unlocking the door, she was soaked, cold and slightly pissed off at her sister, who was probably dunking digestive biscuits in a cup of tea and complaining to some other middle-class parent who had enough problems of their own. 

This is how Ava found herself to be in a cold, leaking bookshop, stacking heavy books that were older than her. It wasn't the books that annoyed Ava; she loved books with a passion; the smell, the texture of the leather bindings- It made Ava swoon. It was how she was left alone; so very alone with only the radio for company, playing classical music that echoed around the empty shelves and stacks of books that were littered around the shop.

~

 

Tom was late for the part time job he had acquired whilst being a student in London- it was cleaning the floors and taking the bins out for a local theatre. It was strange and Tom preferred to not talk about it to his friends at Cambridge, who probably never had to work in their life. His parents had persuaded him to get a job to fill up his time when he wasn't studying or learning- "You still need to learn how to make honest work, Tom," his father had nagged. Tom had thought he had escaped from that, but obviously hadn't; although Tom did have a flat of his own that he could mess up to his hearts content, his own opinions, thoughts, views. He could have a pot noodle and leave in the same place for the next week. Tom liked being a student; he felt free,independent; when his parents weren't phoning, nagging. He was walking briskly down the street that was famous for it's bookshops when he saw it. 

The bookshop was so small and unheard of he almost walked past it without a second glance. It almost looked like Ollivanders; the kind of bookshop he would go to as a child. It's red paint was peeling, the windows were displaying many books; some he recognised, some he didn't. A gust of wind blew and the rain poured down harder, if that was possible. Something was telling him to go into this mysterious bookshop that he had never seen before, so, despite being late for the job, he did.

When Tom walked into the bookshop- piles and piles of books covered every space. There seemed to be nobody but him in the shop, he wandered around, breathing in the smell of books and knowledge. There was no sound except a small radio in the corner, placed on one of the stacks of books.  It played ‘Claire de Lune’, and he smiled at the familiarity of it all. Like home. He examined each one book, studying the leather bound covers.  Where there were gaps in the ceiling, large buckets were placed underneath to catch the rain. He picked up a few books, seeing some he hadn't read before. Clutching them to himself, he heard a voice.

“Fother Mucker! Oh, Jesus- I mean, ow!” 

He couldn't help but grin at the selected words. Tom peered around the bookshelf, seeing a woman on her knees; attempting to arrange some heavy books into a pile that had obviously just been dropped. She was wearing skinny jeans, a t shirt that read 'THE BOOK WAS BETTER' and her long, brown hair looked slightly damp. In some strange way, she intrigued Tom. 

“Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear; are you alright?” the girl didn't look up, but smiled to herself before answering,

“Yes, I’m fine. Just dropped some books that are freaking heavier than me; on my foot.” She sighed, stood up and brushed herself off. “Should be used to it; working here.”

That was when she looked up, her brown eyes meeting his blue. His heart jumped in his chest, and he had never felt anything quite like it in his life. It was the kind of feeling that people wrote poetry about; it was ridiculous and perfect at the same time. He couldn't help staring at this beautiful stranger in front of him, eyeing her face, taking in every small lovely detail. Her long brown hair that reached her chest and angular face that held numerous freckles. She was quite petite, smaller than himself, although that wasn't difficult. Her eyes are what captured him the most, though. They reminded him of the autumn leaves that fell from the oak tree outside his apartment. He felt, in those short seconds, complete; like he needed to stay close to this person so that he could be happy. With his whole world crashing around him, he flashed her a smile. When she smiled back, it was the most exquisite thing he had ever seen. 

"Can I help you with anything?" She asked, holding the heavy books into a pile now. 

"I'd like to buy these, please...?" He waited for her name, hoping he didn't sound too pathetic. His usual smoothness with women had gone out the window, into the cold December morning air.

"Ava," she replied, releasing a breath, "I'm Ava." 

Noticing Ava was just as stunned as he was, he stretched his lips into an amused grin. His heart was hammering inside his chest. A perfect name for a perfect face.

"I'm Tom," he attempted to continue the conversation as she gave him a shy smile and moved towards the till.

"Busy day?" he asked, following her.

She looked around the bookshop, then back at him. 

"Swamped; as you can see." Ah, sarcasm. She continued, "It's just me in today, doing a favour for my sister." She scanned the books, pausing as she saw a familiar title.

"Lord of the Flies? Interesting choice." she smirked at him.

"It brings me back to school days, and I realised I don't have a copy myself." She nodded, with an 'ah.'

"That will be 9 pounds 70 pence please, Tom." His heart skipped when she said his name. It felt so ridiculous that he was so worked up over a member of the opposite sex. He handed over a 10 pound note.

"So do you work here all the time?" He asked, trying to sound curious; merely making conversation. 

She raised her eyebrows at him as she handed back his change. "Only when my sister needs me. My Dad originally owned the bookshop, but when he retired he passed it onto my sister," she placed his books in a bag. "who, I'm sure, will be happy to help you when you return here, looking for a dictionary to read all that Dickens you just bought." She slid the bag towards him, walking around the till and picking up the pile of books from earlier. She began stacking them side by side on a bookshelf. 

Tom watched her, trying not to let his eyes roam over her back. She was lovely.

"It was lovely to meet you, Tom." She turned to flash a smile at him.

"Yes, you too," He tried to find his voice, flustered. "Bye."

He gave Ava one last glance before exiting the musty-smelling bookshop, the bell ringing behind him. Tom knew he would be back to this bookshop, for more reasons than one. 


	2. Serendipity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chance meeting. Due to distractions, Ava goes to the library to catch up on work, and bumps into a special someone. The two get talking, and discover more about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is Chapter 2. I really wanted to get this out there so I'm really sorry if it's bad. I couldn't sleep till I posted it- I wouldn't let myself. I'm a bit nervous because I worked quite hard on it. Anyways- Enjoy!!!

**__8th December 2001_ _ **

_** 14 St. James' s Square, London ** _

The highlight of Ava's week had been meeting that slightly flustered and overly polite man in the bookshop. -Tom. And Daniel Brown vomiting in the classroom; but that was another story.

Something about his manner, his kind eyes had intrigued her greatly. She felt her heart speed up when she thought of him. Ava felt like a foolish school girl- she had only just met the man for about five minutes and she was thinking about him nearly all night. So much so, it had kept her up late, into the early hours of the morning. - She saw his face when she closed her eyes; his goofy, lopsided grin (that grin probably got him out of trouble as a child), his unruly curly, blonde hair that looked like noodles and his eyes. His eyes are what captured her the most. The way they were bright; innocent. Like he had hopes for the world.

 Being kept up with thoughts like this, it had made Ava late for work on more than one occasion. She had been working as a student-teacher at the Primary School for 3 weeks now, and if she got her degree, she was offered the opportunity to teach that class for the foreseeable future. In result of being late, she had no time for lesson planning, as marking the children's work took up too much of her spare time. The class supervisor had not been impressed, and tutted at her lack of organization. The children were enthusiastic to have a young person teaching them, and seemed to like Ava (sometimes a little too much-it was 'unprofessional for your students to hug you', according to the supervisor). It seemed to Ava like a dream job. She was definitely not going to let herself down because of a strange man she met for less than 2 minutes. Determined, she had gone to the library to catch up on work. It meant that she could focus; her flat was too cold to sit in one place for too long, especially by herself.

So after a long day working at the primary, Ava had gone straight to The London Library; where she sat at an empty table, surrounded herself with work papers and children's unmarked jotters and worked. She finally managed to get this 'Tom' character out of her head, and got work done. She planned lessons for the remaining 3 weeks of her student-teaching, marked all the jotters, even made a few quiz sheets up. It felt good to be back on track and in control. Rewarding herself, she decided to spend a little more time in the library, reading her recently purchased copy of Game of Thrones.

~

Tom's breath created shapes in the cold December air, and he wished he'd worn a scarf or a pair of gloves. He pushed the stiff, heavy doors of The London Library, holding one for an elderly woman with white hair,  who smiled gratefully as she passed. He would only stay for a short while, he decided. It got dark quickly being December, and Tom didn't really want to stay out for long, especially after having a tiring, long day. He pulled his jacket closer. A recent head cold had kept him inside his flat, reading and devouring more books than usual, and drinking excessive amounts of Lemsip. As it turned out, Ava was right. Tom did need a dictionary for the Charles Dickens he bought; even with his not-too-shabby intelligence. 

Walking into the library was always a lovely sight for Tom. Rows and rows of books, all different colours; calling out to him. When he was little, before he was sent to the Dragon School, Tom's father had told him, 'Knowledge is power.' This had motivated Tom to read, learn, devour every piece of knowledge that he found. He wanted to be great; to leave his mark on the world. The library smelt of books and coffee. He passed the main desk, sending 'Afternoon,'s and 'Hello,'s towards the staff. Being a regular here, he had become acquainted with everyone here. He had even been told by Jenny, the main front desk worker, who was known for her cougar-like values and had batted her eyelashes at him, “You should work here, Tom.”- he had declined politely. He told her his only dream was to act. To leave the world knowing he had wowed and amazed; that he had made people cry and laugh and sympathize and inspired- like he had been himself. He often worried if that really was his dream; it kept him up at night, twisting and turning in the sheets, feeling breathless with anxiety, the uncertainty of it all and the fear of wasting time. 

Ava was another thing that had kept him up at night lately. The girl in the old bookshop. He couldn't stop thinking of her eyes; and he read more love poetry in that week than was probably allowed for a single, 24 year old man. He couldn't stop thinking about her, how lovely she was. He wanted to see her again; but didn't know how. He decided then that if nothing happened at the end of this weekend, he would go to the bookshop again. He made his way through the bookshelves, selecting some more romantic poetry. He held the books to his chest, stacking them into a pile. As he made to sit at a table, one of the older workers, Maureen, called Tom over to put some books back onto the higher shelves.

"It's my back, Tom. I'm sorry to ask you, but everyone else is busy round here," she laid a wrinkled, vainy hand on his shoulder. "Besides, you're still a young, strong man, so I'm sure this will be easy." Maureen smiled at him. She reminded Tom of his own grandmother. 

"No problem, Maureen," It wasn't the first time she had asked Tom to do this. "I've got this, you go rest your back."

She thanked him and went towards the front desk, leaving him to the task at hand. Tom wondered where to start. He grunted as he picked up some of the heavier books, climbing up the small stepladder. Why were books so heavy again?

~

From where Ava sat, poring over George R.R Martin’s words, Ava heard a few barely audible gasps from the women, and some of the men, who were around her, their mouths slightly agape. Sitting up in alarm, Ava wondered what the problem was. She soon noticed the people's eyes were trained on something in the far corner of the library, some biting their lip. Now curious, she strained her neck to see, expecting a fire or something dangerous.

Ava saw a man. He was leaning against a tall bookcase, attempting to put some heavy books up high. -Ava knew the feeling. His already tight shirt had risen so that it had come untucked from his trousers, revealing his hipbones and the small trail of hair on his abdomen; it looked like he was struggling with the weight of so many books, and Ava couldn't understand why no one was going to help this obviously in-great-difficulty stranger. Another one of Maureen's tricks, Ava guessed; the older woman had a gift of being mischievous, and often asked the single, young, attractive men that occasionally visited the library to stack high and heavy books, so that she could admire their behinds and the suchlike. It looked like this was her latest victim. It made Ava laugh a little. Poor guy; he just wanted to help out- he didn't know 98% of the library had their eyes on his arse. (Which was very nice, by the way.) Ava had to give it to her- Maureen was 73, and still going strong. When Ava did look up at his face, she recognised him immediately. A lot of feelings that she thought were finally gone, rose to the surface. Tom. His face, his hair, his eyes. He looked the same as he did last Saturday. He looked beautiful, really.

Ava decided to save him from the oogling eyes and threw down her book, strutting over to him. She tugged on his trouser leg, like a small child.

"Excuse me. Tom?" He looked down, his eyes brightening with recognition. 

"Ava?" The way his said her name made Ava shiver. It was sugar and honey and every rich and sweet thing Ava could think of. She tried to keep her composure.

"Hello. Can I talk to you?" He nodded enthusiastically. He reminded Ava of an excited puppy. He climbed down the ladder.

"So. Did Maureen ask you to stack those books?" This had obviously not what Tom thought she wanted to say to him. He nodded confusedly, and he looked adorable.

"Well, you see, she does that a lot to the attractive," she did quotation symbols with her fingers, "single men who come in here so she can look at their arses. And you, my friend, are her latest victim. And your shirt rose up. Not that I..." Tom's face had gone slightly pink as she had spoken; his face shy. Ava's heart felt heavy, like Tom was weighing it down. "...anyway. I have saved you from being objectified by the people of this library. So, you're welcome." She turned to leave, but Tom said her name and she stopped. She knew then she would always come back for him when he said her name like that. 

"Thank you. For saving my virtue." Tom was blushing again, and Ava already knew that was her worst weakness. "Would you like to...sit...with...me? It's fine if you'd rather not. I guess it is late." Ava was the one who was blushing now.

"That would be nice, Tom." 

And so Ava moved her books over to the table that Tom had his books, and they sat together, opposite one another. Their feet kept touching underneath the table, and it made Ava very strangely happy; like most things Tom did at the moment.

"So, Ava. What do you do when you don't help your sister out at the bookshop?" he stared into her eyes, and it made her heart flutter. Tom liked eye contact.

"I'm a student-teacher at the moment, so, if all goes well, I should get my degree soon. Then I'll be teaching Year 2's at the Fox Primary School. I like reading, as you will have probably guessed. I have a flat a little while away; which is awful, but at least keeps me living somewhere, and it is really central..." Ava decided she wanted to hear more about Tom.

"What about you? What do you do when you're not buying Charles Dickens at an old, mouldy bookshop?" He laughed a little, then answered, 

"I'm at Cambridge," She 'ahhh'ed at that, smiling. "That explains a lot! Educated, classy, intelligent..."

He interrupted her, "Come on, really? I'm not that bad, am I?" She just looked at him, smiling. 

"Sorry- I interrupted- Cambridge? What you studying?"

"Classics." He said this with a smile, his mouth lifting up at the corners. His eyes twinkled with something that looked like pride and Ava tried not to swoon like a pathetic, lovesick school girl.

"So what are you going to do with this 'first' in Classics, when you get it; and you will, Tom," He only smiled a little at that. Ava could tell that despite his achievements, he still lacked confidence in his capabilities.

"You think? I don't know. I want to be an actor, definitely." Ava's eyebrows raised. She definitely wouldn't have pegged Tom for an actor. Impressed and intrigued, she answered, "Wow," Tom was playing with his fingers. "Why? Tell me more, Leonardo di Caprio." Tom smiled shyly at the table.

"You see, ever since I was little, I've always had this fascination with drama; you can be anything you want to be," Tom was using his hands to talk, a habit which Ava had noticed. It was cute. "and when my parents got divorced; it became this void, this part of me that needed to be fulfilled." His eyes were sparkling again, his face alight with passion and enthusiasm. "It became my escape. My freedom. You know? A way to get away from it all; from the harsh reality that was my life. I want to inspire. I want to bring this joy to people's hearts but also this great sadness. I want to leave my mark on the world, and I think that's a good way to do all that."

Ava was left a little speechless by this man. He was so passionate; Ava could almost hear her heart singing, 'Be mine, be mine, be mine'. She decided to change the subject.

"Where are you staying?"

"Near Kings Cross. So I can get the train to Cambridge."  

"Oh yes, that is a journey. Why do you stay in London?" 

He replied, "So I can still see my parents, I guess. Well; my mother. And there are more theatres in London; so more opportunities for me. I come back to London when I don't have classes." She nodded understandingly.

She leaned forward on the table, looking into Tom's eyes. He leaned forward too, mouth pulled into a lopsided grin. Ava could smell him; tangerines. -It was sweet, tangy. She could feel his warm breath on her face, his eyes looking directly into hers; the two of them openly studying each other. Tom was just about to say something else when someone alerted the remaining people in the library that they were closing. Ava began to pack up, and the moment was broken. She was putting her jacket on when she said,

"It was lovely to see you again, Tom. I was going to give you my number since I saved your virtue and everything- do you want it?" Ava was nervous, she could hear her heart beating in her ears. Tom laughed.

"Definitely."

So Ava scrawled down her number, handing it to Tom, and rushed off, talking about 'Catching the bus' and muttering 'Sorry's to him. Before she left though, she turned around, her hair swishing in the breeze. She gave him a heart-stopping smile, and he silently thought it was beautiful. She waved, and he waved back.

'This girl is going to be the death of me,' he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of Chapter 2! Hope you enjoyed and it wasn't too crap. I worked quite hard on it. Please let me know what you think! It means a lot that some of you left kudos!! Thank you! x


	3. Snowflakes and Cold Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Tom meet up for their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! Sorry it's taken so long! I've had a quite difficult couple of weeks. Anyways, enjoy!

**11th December 2001**

**Fox Primary School, London**

Ava had been receiving texts with puns and bad jokes in them all week from Tom, and she wondered how he had so much spare time. No doubt about it- they did make her laugh and she did text back some of her own. It amazed her how one text could brighten her day considerably, putting a spring in her step. She liked to think that they meant that during his day, Tom was thinking of her too. The children noticed too; Ava seemed more animated than usual- she even did different voices for the characters in the story the class were reading. It was lunchtime when Ava received another text. She expected it to be a pun, smiling at her phone as she flipped the screen up. It read,

‘You’ve heard some really bad jokes so far, and you’re still talking to me...Coffee? ’

Ava’s stomach fluttered as she responded, typing faster than she ever had before- bugger the five minute waiting rule.

‘I’m only still here because you’re destined to be famous. ;) Coffee would be great- if my apartment didn’t smell of it all the time...Tea? ’

Ava bit her nails as she sent the text, awaiting a reply. Her phone buzzed a moment later.

‘Oh, of course. ;) It’s a date.’ At the bottom of the text, Tom had decided on a meeting time and place. ‘Hyde Park corner, Tuesday, 4.00pm?’

~

**13th December 2005**

**Hyde Park Corner, London**

Tom was waiting at Hyde Park corner, just as Big Ben started to chime for four O’ clock. He had arrived a bit earlier, just in case. The chilly December air was nipping at his ears, and he hoped his cheeks weren’t red from the cold- rosy cheeks and blonde curls made him look like a schoolboy again, and that certainly wasn’t the impression he wanted to give Ava. He was nervous- he could feel his heart beating in his chest and his palms begin to sweat. Although this was technically their third meeting, Tom felt like he needed to impress Ava; make her laugh just to see her smile again. He reminded himself not to talk too much, get too passionate- he had learnt the hard way that girls didn’t like it when you talked about or quoted Plato or Shakespeare on the first date. When the clock began to reach quarter past, Tom began to bite his nails. Had Ava’s name been added to the long list of girls that had stood him up? He hoped not, and let the thought drift to the back of his mind. When half-past four arrived, it began to get dark, the streetlights warming up for the night. Tom was going to wait all night if he had to. Just then, he heard a female voice behind him.

“Sorry I’m late, DiCaprio.” Ava. Tom felt himself grin as he turned around to see Ava, who was dressed up warmly for the weather in a parka, complete with a hat and scarf. She checked her watch. “I’m only half an hour late, though.” She had rosy cheeks and seemed out of breath.

“Did you run all the way here?” He asked, only teasing slightly. She laughed nervously, and began to apologise profusely and babble about how unreliable public transport in London was. She was twirling her long hair in her fingers as she talked, the lights all around them dancing in her eyes. Tom wanted to kiss her then; grab her face in his hands and hold her close and never let go. This thought scared him and brought him out of his trance.

“Tea?” He offered her his arm. Ava then realised how much she had been talking about Oyster cards and nodded, smiling, taking Tom’s arm. As they walked through Green Park, it was still busy, even on a cold December night; people jogging passed them, dog walkers passed, mothers with prams, and Tom realised how nice it was just to watch the world go by. Just as the thought occurred, Ava said,

“It’s nice to see the world go by, isn’t it? You realise how busy everyone is. How busy the world is. You never normally get to appreciate these kinds of things; we’re all so busy ourselves.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” Tom grinned down at her, and she grinned back. They reached a small coffee stand that was in the park, and asked for tea. Tom paid, much to Ava’s annoyance, although Tom insisted. She muttered something about ‘bloody Cambridge boys’ as they found a bench and sat down. Ava was holding Tom’s tea due to him paying, and as she passed him the hot beverage he felt her fingers brush his own.

“Bloody hell!” Ava looked at him in alarm, eyes alight with worry. “What’s wrong? Did you spill your tea?” Tom laughed, shaking his head.

“Your hands are freezing!” He exclaimed. Ava was the one laughing now. “Oh. Sorry, I’m sure the tea will warm them up.” Tom was shaking his head again.

“No, can’t be having that. Give me your cup?” She passed him it, and sent him a questioning glance as he set them both down on the ground. He held his hands out towards her, directing her to do the same. She put her icy hands in his, and he gave her a soft smile as he leant down.

“May I?”

Ava nodded and he brought his mouth next to their joined hands. For a moment, Ava thought he was going to kiss her fingers, not that she would have minded. Tom breathed hot air softly on her fingers and she could see it in the cold air. He rubbed their hands together, concentrating, looking down at her small hands. Ava felt her stomach fluttering and her cheeks blush red. When she could feel her fingers again, he looked up at her, smiling, his eyes reaching hers. It was an intimate moment, and the air felt tense. Tom spoke,

“I know what I’m getting you for Christmas, darling.” This wasn’t the first time Tom had called her ‘darling’ during their time together and Ava hadn’t minded it one bit. She knew it wasn’t the first time and definitely wouldn’t be the last. She decided to tease him back.

“And what would that be, Thomas?”

“Gloves.” He smiled at her, cheeks rosy from the cold. He was still holding their hands and Ava looked down at them.

 “I don’t know, now that I have a personal hand warmer-upper I don’t think I’ll be needing them.” When Ava looked up at him, his face was close to hers and she could feel his breath on her cheek. He smelled like tangerines and cinnamon and something that was purely Tom- warm and light. He was looking down at her lips, her freckles, the tea forgotten and going cold.

When they were so close to holding each other, snow began to fall. White and pure and beautiful, as if coming from heaven. It created shadows in the light that the streetlamps provided, falling to the ground silently- the world was quiet. The small flakes landed in their hair and their eyelashes and Tom would always remember Ava in that moment; looking like an angel. He watched her as she looked up at the sky, closing her eyes so that the snow fell on her skin like kisses, disappearing into her skin. Tom watched as one melted, wiping away the drop of water with his fingers. She opened her eyes once more, and gave him that smile that always left him breathless. No words were spoken, they didn’t need to be. The two studied each other. Ava was the one who finally broke the silence.

“I think you’re quite lovely, Thomas.” Tom blushed, looking at her eyes again. He could spend hours like this.

“I think you’re quite lovely too, Ava.” She blushed also, and the two of them sat like that for awhile, blushing at each other. It felt nice to not know what was going to happen next, like an adventure that neither of them knew the ending of.

“Do you like to read?” The question stunned Tom a little, not what he was expecting to hear.

“Yes. Why?” Ava had already begun to stand, pulling Tom up with their hands that were still joined.

“We’re going to mine. Don’t mind the tube, do you, Cambridge boy?” She winked at him as she twirled in the snow that was still falling.

Tom was falling, too. He knew it- and he couldn't stop it if he tried. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please comment or kudos to let me know if you liked it. Thanks for reading! x


	4. Reading with street lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Tom read together with only the street lights illuminating the yellowed pages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 4! Thank you to all that left lovely comments! They made me want to write more. Thanks for reading!

**13th December 2001**

**London Underground, London**

The tube on the way to Ava’s house was busy and crowded, with it being 5 o’ clock on a weekday. All these people in smart suits wearing heavy jackets and knitwear crowding the carriage made the air slightly stuffy and sweaty. Because there were no seats available, Ava and Tom stood beside one another, catching eyes and grinning every so often. They were both damp from the snow, though neither minded. They hung onto the yellow rail as the carriage jerked and occasionally made them bump into each other, both of them apologising and laughing each time. When the intercom announced Leister Square, Ava nudged Tom and he nodded, grabbing her hand as he squeezed them both to the doors through the mess of people, muttering ‘sorry’s and ‘excuse me’s to anyone he pushed. After finally escaping the carriage, both of them let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding. They laughed at themselves.

“That,” Ava stated, “is why I favour the bus.”

“You have to admit though, it is quicker.”

Ava shrugged as they walked to the escalator. “I guess.”

When they were out in the dark night of London again, the snow still falling, Tom had to shout over a particularly loud motorbike that went by. The snow stuck in his curls, making them wet and his eyes were bright and it made Ava feel crazy.

“Which way to yours, then?”

~

**Charing Cross Road, London**

As Ava unlocked her flat door, she felt slightly nauseous, although when she glanced at Tom, he smiled at her and she smiled back. As she swung open the door, the stale smell of coffee greeted them. “Welcome.” She gestured him to go inside the flat. “Make yourself at home.”

He stepped inside and grinned at the piles of books, which surprised Ava. Usually when men saw her books, which wasn’t very often, they would make some long winded excuse (“My cat’s sick, sorry,” Was Ava’s personal favourite.) to go home. Not Tom, apparently. He even picked up a few, flipping through the pages.

 “It’s lovely.” He said, looking around the apartment, still holding the novel.

“Lovely, craptastic, horrible, whatever you want to call it.” Ava laughed, hanging up her and Tom’s coats up to dry. She switched on a lamp in the corner of the room, illuminating her face.

“No, really, it’s so...” He paused for a moment. “You.”  Their eyes met across the small living room.

“Thanks. I think.” Ava watched him smell the old pages of The Hobbit, a copy that had belonged to her father when he was young, and had given to her when she first had a love for reading. She felt a pang of longing in her chest- she had always been given into trouble for smelling books; “Books are for reading, not sticking your grotty nose in between the pages,” her mother had told her when Ava was in bed one night. Ava still thought that if you read a book, why not enjoy all of it.

“Do you often smell books?” she laughed nervously as his eyes lifted from the pages to her.

 “Uh, yes. No. Sorry. Another thing that was made fun of while growing up.” He sat on the couch and she went into the kitchen.

“Tea?” she called, rifling through the cupboards. She heard a faint, “Please,” from the living room.

“Earl Grey? Chai? Green? Peppermint? Yorkshire?” Ava admitted to herself to maybe not buy so much tea. Her sister had told her Earl Grey tasted like dishwater, although as usual, Ava disagreed. A good cup of tea and a book often made Ava’s day, as nerdy as that sounded.

“Earl Grey would be lovely, please, Ava.” He called.

She poured the hot water into the cups of teabags and surveyed the kitchen. She certainly didn’t have a huge wage, and this reflected in the food that she bought and the furniture she owned. The rent was cheap, the space small and the heating poor, but it belonged to her. She returned to the sitting room with the tea, greeted with the sight of Tom on the couch, long limbs trying to fit between the space of the couch and coffee table.

“Thanks.” He said, glancing up at her, his stomach fluttering.

“You can put your feet up,” she laughed, “Sorry, this apartment was made to fit normal sized people.” He laughed with her and reminded himself to think of this when he wasn’t having a good day- her laughing. The way her small lips curled up to reveal her small teeth, showing the dimples in her cheeks. The way her big eyes crinkled up and how she threw her head back made his heart feel heavy. She thumped down onto the couch beside him and patted her lap.

“Come on, feet up.”

Tom automatically refused, so she leaned into him, both their heads at one end of the couch and their feet the other. The intimacy of the position surprised both of them.

“Look, we can both put our feet up now.” She stated, attempting to break the air of tension that had drifted over them. Tom noticed the three freckles on her collarbone, and promised to himself that one day he would kiss them, along with all the freckles on her face. He would worship those three freckles. He pulled his feet up, and Ava shifted to get comfortable, which nearly caused Tom to fall off the sofa. This made them laugh again, and Ava cuddled into Tom’s arm. Her face became mock serious.

“Now read to me, Thomas.”

Tom chuckled, and began, clearing his throat.

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.” Ava was looking outside onto the silent street as Tom read, the snow still falling slowly like feathers. She knew the first few lines by heart, and mouthed them as he spoke. Tom was still reading, he eyes completely focused on the page in front of him.

“-Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”

They read for hours, until Tom’s voice became rough and raw and the tea in the cups had gone. He flipped page after page until Ava found herself looking at him, watching the way his lips formed the words from the page. Both of their eyes were drooping, but were still close to each other. Ava looked at the stubble on his cheeks, his cheekbones shadowed by the streetlights outside, his baby fat. Although it was dark, Ava could see everything. She noticed his perfections; his imperfections. She saw the tiny freckle on his neck, right above his shirt collar. She saw the faint lines of scars, his dimples. This was Tom, and Ava decided this, right now, would be a nice way to spend forever. His eyes were still trained on the page before him, unwitting to her gaze.

With sleepy eyes, Ava leaned forwards and captured Tom’s lips in a kiss, mid sentence. He seemed stunned for a moment, then responded to her touch, dropping the book and holding her face in his hands, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. His lips were soft and gentle against Ava’s, who sighed into the touch, electricity running through her veins. She ran her fingers through his hair, which made his heart soar. She tasted sweet, and Tom nearly forgot to breathe. She smelled like lavender and books. Tom felt like he was on fire, and yet he wanted to do this forever.

When they parted, breathing heavily, she put her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat; a pounding rhythm that slowly became steady. He inhaled the scent of her hair and this calmed him considerably, his eyes closing.

They fell asleep, together on Ava’s small couch, breathing soft and slow, not knowing what the future held for them; but it didn’t matter. All that mattered at the moment was that she was with him, and he was with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! This took a lot out of me- I CAN'T WRITE KISSING SCENES. Strangely enough, this chapter was the first that I wrote for this story.  
> Please leave kudos' and comments to let me know if you liked it! Thanks for reading! x


	5. The Seaside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Eve, and Tom gets a text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry I haven't posted anything in ages! Please listen to Iron and Wine's version of 'Such Great Heights', as it was the inspiration to this story!! Enjoy and please leave kudos'!

This entire story was inspired by [Such Great Heights ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCYWymG9fSs)covered by Iron and Wine. It's magnificently beautiful.

**24th December 2001**

**Westminster, London**

Tom hated Christmas. He was being force fed mince pies and having his cheeks pinched by his great- aunt Beatrice when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He sighed in relief at having a reason to excuse himself and go somewhere else, and slipped away from the old lady’s arms and into the kitchen. He flipped open his phone and something warm bloomed in his chest when he saw the contact name. It was Ava.

 It simply said,

_Let’s go to the beach._

Tom smirked at the text and glanced at the clock. It was ten o’ clock on Christmas Eve. Distant family members that he had been able to avoid all year had been arriving all morning and he was already prepared to jump off of a tall building if it meant he didn’t have to suffer through anymore wet kisses or cheek pinches, and not just the cheeks that were on his face. He glanced round the doorframe of his mother’s living room, watching all of the relatives he was obligated to talk to at this one time of year. He could go make some kind of excuse to leave involving on an ‘alcohol run’ or something. He had to see her. It had been too long since he had seen the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, heard her laugh, watch her lick her lips, deep in thought. These little details that he had noticed made him feel like a teenager, in love for the first time. His thoughts were interrupted by a second text, then a third and fourth.

_I need to get out of here._

Tom felt her pain.

_I’m surrounded by old people who are asking me if I’m a lesbian because I’m not married yet._

Tom chuckled at that one, imagining Ava swarmed by elderly relatives questioning her sexual orientation. He clicked on the next message.

_I need to see you, DiCaprio._

His heart swooped in his chest, and he nearly called her straight back. He sent her a text instead.

 _I'm_ _coming._

_~_

They decided to meet halfway, Tom being the designated driver pulling up to Ava at the side of the road with his banged up Peugeot 106 that he was rather proud of.

He leaned over in his seat and rolled down the window. She was wearing a Hufflepuff hat and scarf and hadn’t noticed him or the car yet.

“Excuse me, do you have a map? Because I’m lost in your eyes.”

Ava turned to look at him with a confused expression, and seeing it was Tom, threw her head back and laughed. He had missed her smile. She opened the car door, slipping into the passenger seat.

“That was pathetic, DiCaprio. I expected better.”  There was a moment of silence as they studied each other, and then looked away, a blush staining their cheeks. Ava removed her hat, her hair messy and tangled. Tom thought it was endearing.

“Long time no see.” Tom stated as he shifted his car into gear and pulled away from the kerb, trying to decide which lane to pull into. The nearest beach was only an hour away.

“I know, my family were driving me insane. I needed to get away from the stress. I owe you one.”

“I don’t mind really, you were doing me a favour. I’d much rather see...” Tom decided to change the subject. “I like your hat and scarf.”

“Thanks! I like them too.” She must have gotten too warm in the small car as she began taking off her coat and scarf, throwing them into the back seat and getting comfortable. Ava leaned forward, picking up something at her feet. “Cassette Tapes?”

Tom nodded as she flicked through the pile she had discovered.

“I’m so glad you’re not one of those people who stopped using these for CDs.”

“Yeah,” Tom exited the roundabout. “They drive my sisters insane whenever I give them a lift. All the cases rattle around on the floor.”

“You have siblings?” Ava asked, intrigued. With his upper class education she had assumed Tom was an only child.

“Yes, two sisters- Emma and Sarah. You should meet them.” Tom already knew they would love Ava as much as he did. When he glanced at Ava, she looked unsure. “Or not, just an idea.” Tom didn’t know if they were even going out. When he had woken up next to Ava on her living room couch a few days ago he had stared at her sleeping form in the morning light until she had woken up and rushed around the house, late for work. He would never forget the way her eyelids fluttered against his cheek, the way her freckles stood out in the morning light, the feeling of her breath on his neck, the warmth of her body next to his as he held her close. It was addictive, and he never wanted to let her go. They hadn’t spoken about the kiss. Only when Ava spoke he realised how silent the car had been.

“No, I’m sure it would be lovely,” she ran her fingers through her hair and put a tape into the sound system. She turned to face him as the first chords of a song Tom didn’t recognise started. Must be Sarah’s tape. “I’m just not very good at meeting people.”

“You met me.”

“But you were you. It’s just,” she sighed agitatedly, “my hands get clammy and my heart starts beating really fast and it’s awful.”

Tom hesitated. “You get panic attacks?” he indicated to go left. The clicking was loud in the silent car.

“I do. That’s why I hate meeting new people.”

“I get it,” His younger sister Emma had suffered the same through her first few years at school. Though seeing from a distance, Tom knew the struggles of having anxiety. “I won’t pressure you into anything.” He gave her his best reassuring smile as he turned from the road and she reached over to squeeze his hand on the gearstick. She gave him a relieved smile.

“Thanks, Tom.”

~

They arrived at Thorney Bay Beach and the tide was out. Ava remembered she had been here as a child. As soon as he’d parked Ava had ran out of the car and down to the sand, pulling off her shoes and socks, catching strange looks from families walking on the sand. She didn’t seem to care.

“It’s the middle of December! It’ll be cold!” Tom called after her as Ava shrugged, her hair blowing across her face in the wind. Tom ran to catch up with her.

“Why not? Let’s go in!” Ava shouted, running into the waves. She screamed at the temperature then ran straight back into the sand. “Fuck! It’s freezing!” She grabbed Tom close, shivering.

Tom just laughed at her. “Told you.”

Later, after Ava had persuaded Tom into the cold water, tired out and happy, they sat on the rocks, staring out at the endless ocean. Neither said a word. The waves hitting the shore and the seagulls squawking overhead was the soundtrack to their silence. It was cold and Ava was tired so she leant her head on Tom's shoulder and closed her eyes, breathing in the smell of the sea and feeling Tom breathe. He watched her for a while and leant over to kiss her head. Her hair smelt like flowers. He wanted to freeze this moment and make it last forever. But he felt like that every time he was with Ava. Tom wondered if this is what finding the person of your dreams feels like. He remembered a quote about the sea, hidden somewhere in his mind that he had seen the other day while he was looking over something in class. It was silly, and possibly pretentious, but Tom said it anyway.

“I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.” 

Ava lifted her head, watching Tom closely, her eyes wide and curious.

“What did you say?” Ava asked, not quite sure if she had heard him right.

 Tom blushed and shrugged like it was no big deal. “Nothing."

"You just quoted Anaïs Nin."

Tom looked at his lap in embarrassment.

"I did." he admitted.

 "You did."

After a while, she leant up to whisper in Tom’s ear, a request just between the two of them, twirling a finger in the curls at the nape of his neck.

“Can I kiss you now, Thomas?”

Tom laughed and nodded without even thinking twice, holding Ava’s freckled cheeks and bringing his lips to hers. He couldn’t believe he had even waited this long to kiss her a second time. She tasted like salt and fresh air and it was like breathing again. Tom decided he loved Christmas after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment and/or kudos! I love hearing what you all think. x


	6. Christmas Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Ava need to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hope y'all are good. Comment and kudos!!x

**Christmas Day, 2001**

**London**

It wasn’t long before Ava’s sister, Alice, cornered her in the living room, demanding answers. Unfortunately, since it was Christmas and the whole family was visiting, like every other year, the two sisters had to share a room, and Ava’s absence hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Where were you last night?!”

Ava shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. “Out.”

“Yes, I guessed that when you came into bed last night smiling like a loon. What were you doing?”

Ava felt like Tom was her secret; she didn’t want to share him with anyone else. “Nothing exciting.”

Alice gave her sister a hard look, one that said she knew her sister was hiding something. Ava could tell the moment Alice had an idea. “Or rather... who were you doing?”

Alice’s eyes sparkled with mischief and curiosity, Ava couldn’t believe this woman was a mother.

“Alice!?” Ava shouted, scandalized at her sister. Her cheeks burned, she hoped no one was hearing their conversation. She pulled her sister further from the door, talking in a hushed tone, “I wasn’t doing anybody!” Alice looked unconvinced.

“Then why are you hiding them from me? It’s not a woman, is it?” Ava covered her face in embarrassment. This was not happening to her. Not on Christmas Day. “-Not that it matters. Hell, it’s even better than a guy-” Alice added hastily.

“Why does everyone think I’m a lesbian?!”

“We never see you with anyone, not since David Kerr.” Alice shuddered in disgust, “Ew, David Kerr.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m into females-”

Alice cut her sister off with a wave of her hand. “In all seriousness, Ava, it’s because you never get any, sis. Sometimes I think you’re a nun.”

Ava felt humiliated. “Fine, I was seeing a guy. His name is Tom. I met him about a week ago.”

Much to Ava’s disgust, Alice squealed and jumped, clapping her hands like a seal. “I knew it! Is it serious?”

Ava wasn’t expecting this kind of question from her sister- she was expecting questions involving the size of Tom’s nether regions and the suchlike. She was left speechless for a moment. “I’m not sure, Alice. I really...it feels good when I’m with him.”

For the first time in her life, Alice was silent and thoughtful. She looked up at Ava, her face serious now.

“Have you told-?” she started. Ava already knew what she was going to ask.

“No. He doesn’t need to know.”

“But if you like him--”

“I do like him, Alice. It scares me how much I like him.”

“Then surely he needs to know.”

“Not yet.”

“Then soon, Ava. It’s not fair on either of you.”

With a last meaningful look, Alice turned and left the room to go and unwrap presents with her daughter, leaving Ava sitting on the arm of the couch amongst the rejected wrapping paper, wondering what had happened to her life. Sighing, she brought her phone out of her pocket, flipped the screen up and texted Tom four simple words.

_We need to talk._

_~_

By some unfortunate occurrence, Tom had been the decided chef of this years Christmas Dinner- his great aunt Sophia had commented that you could "tell a lot a out a man from his cooking." And of course Tom's mother had put him up for the job. He was sweaty, stressed and had burnt himself more times than he cared to mention. He was stirring the gravy when his phone sounded across the room, and he knew who it was before he even looked. When he flipped up the screen, his heart sunk in his chest. The words were clear, definite. _**We need to talk.**_ It meant they were breaking up- Tom didn't even know if they were _together,_ if they even could break up. Either way, it wasn't good. What if she'd suddenly realised what an utter pillock he was, how she was totally, utterly out of his league. _Ava's not like that_ , he thought to himself. _She's special._ He had to see her. He texted her back as quickly as he could, his fingers flying over the buttons.  _  
_

_Okay. Hope you're alright. Hope we're alright. I'll meet you in an hour at the duck pond in Leicester Square gardens?_

She texted back she would be there. Tom felt like he was going to be sick, which probably wouldn't help the situation. She couldn't leave him. He was only just  beginning to get to know the person he already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He knew he couldn't _not_ love Ava. The damage was done. His heart belonged to her.

After begging Emma to take over the cooking for a couple of hours and catching the tube to Leicester Square, Tom felt like he was going to have a break down. He was waiting by the ducks, tossing some stodgy bread towards them that he'd brought. His mind began to wander. He couldn't lose her. He had only just begun to know what her lips taste like, how her skin feels, the smell of her hair. Where the sensitive spot on her neck was, that let Tom know what her moans sounded like. He wanted to hear her moan forever.

She was the sun. Bright, in every sense of the word. And he was completely and utterly and irrevocably under her spell. When he saw her walking towards him, his stomach fell even further. She's so beautiful. He wanted to wake up next to her smile every day. She gave him a sad smile and sat down on the bench next to him, reaching into the bag of bread and throwing some to the ducks. The tension felt unbearable. Finally, she turned to face him, her eyes misty and face torn.

"Tom, I'm sick."

Sick? What the hell did she mean, 'sick'? 

She was perfect. She _looked_ fine. Tom's confusion must have been obvious as Ava took his hand in hers and held it tight. A single tear ran down her cheek and he wanted to kiss it away. Her voice quaked as she spoke,

"I've got cancer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and kudos! Anyone who has a look at my little story means the world to me. X

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave feedback! Kudos' are greatly, amazingly appreciated. I would love to hear what you think, so please don't be shy. Thanks for reading! x


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